Did you know that there’s such a thing as pumpkin spice guacamole?!
I’m not sure why I’m surprised by its existence, because based on what I know about people and their obsession with all things pumpkin spice, there will literally be pumpkin spice everything by the year 2020.
Pumpkin spice mascara? Probably.
Pumpkin spice face scrub? Already a thing.
People don’t even care about eating it anymore, they just want to rub it all over their bodies and live in it like some sort of pumpkin flavored invisibility cloak.
Only, I see you, pumpkin spice addicts. And I can smell you coming from a mile away.
And I’ve had enough.
IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE PUMPKIN IN IT.
10 Times Pumpkin Spice Sucked The Joy Right Out Of Fall
1. When I went to Panera for breakfast and all they had left were pumpkin spice muffins.
2. When I got all excited because my friend surprised me with a treat from Starbucks, and then discovered that it was a pumpkin spice latte and I had to drink it and smile so as to not hurt her feelings.
3. When I went to Dunkin Donuts and got a mixed box of Munchkins and the pumpkin flavored ones rubbed all over the ones I actually like.
4. When I went to Costco and the jumbo crumb muffins had been changed to PUMPKIN SPICE jumbo crumb muffins. Because, jumbo is never good with pumpkin spice rubbed all over it.
5. When I sprinkled cinnamon on my latte at Starbucks and it was really pumpkin spice, because some employee had the bright idea to put the pumpkin spice in the same container and the same location as the cinnamon for seasonal fun.
6. When I waited in line for donuts at the pumpkin patch for 26 minutes and all they had left were “pumpkin glazed” when I finally got to the front.
7. When I accidentally bought pumpkin spice pasta sauce because I thought it was the butternut squash one I love, and then I had to have cookies for dinner. Never mind…this one actually wasn’t sad…
8. When I went to the bar for the first time in a year and the only grown-up drinks on special were the pumpkin spice infused cocktail and some pumpkin spice flavored beer. So I had pink lemonade. Like a 5 year old.
9. When I got to Thanksgiving dinner and all they had for dessert was pumpkin pie.
10. When someone gave me a pumpkin spice lip balm and I had to try to not to gag every time I licked my lips.
Basically ever since someone decided to turn “the flavor of pumpkins” into a spice that people sprinkle all over everything “just because it’s fall” I’ve been sad. It’s not that good, you guys, for real.
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