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Pursuit of it All

committing to your non negotiables

Committing To Your Non-Negotiables


“Self-care is a not self-indulgence. Self-care is self-respect.”

Over the past year, I’ve been my own worst enemy.

I lost my footing. I floundered. I lacked inspiration.

It was a seven-month long backslide during which I struggled to find a shadow of my former self.

Not. Fun.

In reflecting back on how I lost my footing, I realized that I had allowed myself to get there.

I conceded my own non-negotiables.

The concept of having non-negotiable time in ones life can sometimes be interpreted as selfishness or unnecessary. For me, my non-negotiables are time set aside for reading and writing, exercising and Sunday evening bubble baths.

Non-negotiables can sometimes be interpreted as selfishness or unnecessary. How to work them in without the guilt!

Besides the fact that I love how they make me feel; the practice of being present and enjoying that time without guilt, is something that is completely mine. Exercise, along with bubble baths and time alone to read and write are my personal non-negotiables.

The simple act of self–care (in any form) has the power to keep you healthy, centered and balanced. (Not to mention SANE.) When this care ceases, you lose your footing. 

Every time I pass on one of those activities, I declare to myself that ‘the things you need to be you, don’t matter’.

But they do matter.

Because I matter.

To me.

And to all of the people I need to be something for.


How To Keep Your Commitment To Yourself

  • Recognize that other people’s needs and feelings are not more important than your own. It’s ridiculous to think you have to be in service to others at all times. In fact, the concept of putting yourself last, so sterotypically shackled to the ankles of women everywhere, is completely absurd. And yet so many can’t help but still feel the constant pull to be everything to everyone. If you are worn out mentally and physically from putting everyone else first, you risk not only your own health but also deprive your family of being fully engaged in their lives. You need to start viewing “me time” as a non-negotiable time away from work, daily duties, chores, and must-do’s.
  • Learn to say no. Raise your hand if you are a people-pleaser. (Oh, come on now, admit it!)  How many times have you put yourself at a disadvantage by trying to accommodate others? Because we don’t want to be selfish, we put our personal needs aside and agree to do things that may not be beneficial to our well-being. In all actuality, a certain amount of “selfishness” is necessary for having healthy personal boundaries. You don’t do anyone a favor, least of all yourself, by trying to please others at your own expense.

Steps To Success:

  1. Schedule your non-negotiables
  2. Free your mind from guilt. (The world will not fall apart just because you stole 30 minutes each day to yourself.)
  3. Ask for support to ensure your “me time” schedule actually happens.

Do you have anything in your life that you consider non-negotiable time? Do you find it hard to keep those commitments?

Blogger. Marketer. Deadline juggler. Flibbertigibbet. A fan of all things glitter and girly, Jen’s passions include gabbing with girlfriends, running marathons, sipping (okay, gulping) cocktails and waxing poetic about the tortured soul of Professor Snape. Rarely found without her nose in a book (or her iPhone), she acknowledges that her level of geekery might not be for everyone. Consider yourself warned. Her ultimate goal in life is to be a professional wanderer of the internet or Amy Poehler’s BFF. (Both totally accomplishable, of course.)

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