On Being A Bitch And Owning It
Being a strong female in the workplace isn’t easy.
People don’t know what to do with you. Or what box to fit you in.
They call you…
And, my personal favorite: “Bitch.”
It’s something I’ve struggled with since college. I’m one of those nicey-nice women, often to my own detriment. I want everyone around me to be happy and fulfilled and, of course, to like me.
That doesn’t always get the job done though, does it?
The fear of being labeled “a bitch” is my kryptonite.
In a job performance evaluation I was actually cited for it. The nicey-niceness. In fact, one of my goals set forth by management is to work on my assertiveness skills.
“You need to be more aggressive, Jen!”
As if it were that easy…
On a recent business trip I had the pleasure of seeing Tabatha Coffee speak. I’ve been a huge fan of hers for years, and I practically binge-watched Tabitha Takes Over when I first discovered it.
During her talk, she flat out addressed her own struggle of being perceived as a bitch in her industry.
I’m tough and sometimes my delivery is not the softest. I’m not that touchy-feely person. I can be a bit of a task master. That is just who I am. But as tough as I am, the reality is I’m also kind of a pussycat…
See? Even Tabitha doesn’t like the label. She copes by staring it down. She flat out faces her fear until it’s not scary anymore.
She even came up with an acronym for the word bitch to make it something she could own.
I think that’s brilliant. All positive qualities that any woman (event the nicey-nice ones) would be proud to claim as her own.
So when you’re having a bad day and you’ve hit a wall—in desperate need of a breakthrough—channel a bit of the above qualities, because we all have some of that inside us.
And the next time someone says you’re a bitch, you can proudly say, “Yes, yes I am. Thank you very much!”