If there’s something you need to know, want to know, or probably have absolutely no business knowing, chances are you can find out about it on Facebook.
You can swap stories, clothing, furniture, and secrets on the platform.
Among friends, among relatives, and even … among neighbors.
Closed Facebook Groups — exclusively designed to connect neighbors to each other — are set up to connect real neighbors in real neighborhoods around the nation. But like, online.
And there are so many awesome things about these virtual Groups!
They’re managed by people who live in the ‘hood currently, and who have some form of checks-and-balances system to ensure that people who join aren’t just trying to gain access to a local list of people they can then sell Jamberry or belly wraps or whatever to.
They’re informative and interactive in ways a newsletter just can’t be, and at times you appreciate them greatly.
At other times, times you probably can’t stand to think about just before bed, they make you fear for the safety of your children and doubt the future of humanity.
If you’re thinking about starting one of your own neighborhood Facebook Groups, you may want to note a few things I’ve learned from being a part of a few, first. These are not to discourage you. In fact, I actually think these Groups are a great example of how social media can enhance daily living. Just, you know, don’t be shocked if you post about the injured cat you found and people wind up telling you that you’re a nosy old biddy who probably eats rats for breakfast.
The True Story Of Neighborhood Facebook Groups
1. There is drama.
Literally have spent a good 20 minutes (that could’ve been utilized more fruitfully) just reading through comments with my mouth agape. It’s like regular Facebook, only more intense because you actually know a lot of these people in person and see them on a regular basis without having ever noticed their second heads.
2. You want to comment on so many things, but fear keeps you quiet.
You don’t want to be cut off from the next block party – Jill’s brownies are what dreams are made of. Once, at a party, you even let her husband fully body-long-hug you just to make sure you got one.
3. People can show an extreme amount of compassion for a lost dog, but park in their spot and…
4. No one likes liberals, speeding, barking dogs, unidentified sounds, teenagers, racists, people who call other people racists, HOAs, or communists.
Shout out to anyone who even knew communists were still a thing.
5. You don’t have to be lonely.
Want to meet other moms? Check your neighborhood Facebook Group. Want someone to exercise with? Check your neighborhood Facebook Group. Thinking swinging might spice up your relationship with your spouse now that your kids are out of the house? You’re nuts, but go ahead, check the neighborhood Facebook Group for that too; I’m sure you and your freaky spouse are not alone.
6. People are crazy.
As in bona fide, needs medical attention, nuts. Personally, I appreciate the virtual head’s up, as it’s so much easier than the days of actually sitting in your yard under the cloak of darkness, spying on your neighbors as they bury bodies in their yard, Klopek style. Plus you’ll know not to answer if they come a knockin’…
7. The best handyman in the state may actually live in your ‘hood.
And, even if he doesn’t, your neighbors are a wonderful resource for finding things like gardeners, plumbers, roofers, and the like. They’re even the best way to find a babysitter. Or to find out whose kids you wouldn’t leave your fish with.
8. Sometimes people forget that the people they are talking crap about might also be members of the Group.
And then friendships break up, and turf wars begin, and next thing you know you’re in your street with your leather jacket and your switch blade having a dance battle versus your 57-year-old neighbor, who used to be your son’s shop teacher, while your kids look on in horror.
9. The Internet is fickle.
One minute people are donating to help replace a kid’s stolen bike, and the next they’re calling each other names because someone let her cat pee in his yard during a snow storm. But come Tuesday, they’ll both be at the pool together for a swim meet.
10. Facebook is not real life. But, sometimes, it feels like it.
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